Listen instead
Jimmy Jones(Jimmy of the Joneses) arrives home from work tired; today has been busy, but it hasn’t been any different to before.
He sets his bag on the couch and tries to relax. His kids immediately approach him requesting hugs and kisses; they want to be with Daddy!
And this is great, at least it used to be. Because Jimmy once romanticised this life, and now that he has it, he feels that he is plateauing a bit.
Visions and imaginings are strange, he thinks to himself. Whenever we make a pact with God, we never really ask for everything; we never truly compile a list of dos and don’ts for God to comply with.
And this way, either our quests are never fulfilled, or we must keep making new requests.
As the kids continue asking for his attention, he continues inwardly.
I feel unvalued at work, and the compensation stagnates; I do not feel like a man. There has to be more to life.
Is the window of truth and authority still open? The window which is about genuine intention and desire to be more and to do more? He wondered!
Written on the wall is a saying: ‘Ask and be given, don’t ask, and don’t be given’. But he did not make anything of the phrase when he and his wife placed it there. It was more as a response to everyone else doing the same to their own walls.
And today, with him staring at it, he is compelled to think beyond it being just hocus-pocus.
And as he is sitting still, channelling his inner God, he realises that life is ‘just is’.
His job is to figure out what that ‘is’ means for him. And as has become the norm with his plateau, he is doing a terrible job.
For one, he can’t give his kids what they need, a father’s attention.
And there it was, fate written.
A fate that says that if things remain the same, then life will largely return the same outcomes.
And humans have a propensity for calling fate a real aspect of reality. It is wired in us; it may be our human bug.
And struggling with it is tedious, but the work must be done.
It is said that people come and go, situations change, etc. But they forgot to mention that you should ‘believe this at your own expense, your own peril’.
Because the decision has always been yours. And methods like affirmations, placebo effects, etc., are there to assist you. They are your friends. But they, too, should you decide to accept them, are an aspect of your fate.
Interesting, he continued.
By now, he stood up, hugged his kids, did whatever men do these days, and left for the bedroom.
He had to be isolated for a bit, or else he’d collapse, then the family.
I must parent the children until they are no longer kids and no longer need parenting, he thought!
It’s the same as saying one plus one equals two, he continued!
I wonder how many men ride this boat as well!- he thought!
A boat devoid of versatility! When our lives are tied to a one-dimensional fate!
A fate when many men are their worst enemies, and the ladies are just as broken, a society of convicts!
By now, he started doing pushups and reading ‘men’ magazine.
The smell of raw magazine encapsulates his nostrils and sends thrills down his spine.
Testosterone is a bit higher, but trapped by being overweight and having a belly that hosts trillions of bug life. He tires shortly thereafter and retreats into himself.
The rush is high, and it’s certainly new.
This has its reward points, he continues.
I may have created new neural networks in the brain just now. If only!
If only I could keep the discipline. If only I were not my worst enemy. And if only my mind were not so selective.
About now, the kids decide to barge in(They have a peculiar reality these kids). And now, inspired, he decides to devote some time to them.
This feels good, doesn’t it? He murmurs; it does indeed!
And just like that, his fate has been altered for a bit.
And a new one is assigned.
Fate is weird; it does not care whether you do or don’t do. It is just there; it’s fate.
You get to decide what that fate means for your life, but whatever that is, then that is your fate.
It makes more sense to say that you don’t believe in predisposed fate, but not fate altogether!
It’s a malleable aspect of life, but it’s always there.
One last example: You are fated to breathe, eat, drink and sleep. But you can decide the rhythm of your breathing, in which case, you will not only be challenging fate, but you’d also be a monk! Think of two birds with one stone!
The point is to battle with fate as much as we can. Call it failing forward.
Because I personally believe that things are set in stone, but what those things are and which stone they are written on is up to us.
A few hours later:
Rrring rring, cries the phone!
Jimmy: Hello!
Caller(Kimmy): Hi J, it’s Kimmy, your counsellor. I just called to check on your progress and mental health?
Jimmy: Hello, Kimmynator of the alligators. Listen, my wife, and I are still not on speaking terms after our fallout. However, She is coming to fetch the kids tonight, and for the first time, I feel like a great dad. I gave the kids what they needed of me today, no more, no less. And that is my authority as a man, to decide what works for my family and me, whether the mother is around or…
(Kimmy interrupts)
Jimmy: Listen, as I was saying, my job is to be the best man for my family, whether we are together or not. I am the example I desire to see, but it starts with reinventing fate! Doing the work!
Kimmy: I can say no more; today’s session is closed.
Jimmy: Thanks for all you have done. But stay put, because you and I are in this together, and I know family when I see one. No more unnecessary losses for me!
Kimmy: Great, Bye!
(Bye, bye, bye!)
And that is how Jimmy’s day closed, and his perspective altered slightly. Now let us do the hard work to keep it that way and forge a new fate.
And there it was, our fate written!
Bye!
