I wrote this hurriedly, so apologies beforehand!
It is tough being a man with so many challenges at our door. One morning you wake up with a great presentation of what you want the world to behave like, and the next, you realise that your model is not failsafe!
It’s okay! Let us reflect! That is if you allow yourself room to do so.
Sometimes, the unawareness of the room itself is testimony to the challenge of life.
I have learned that ‘Akuzameki sometimes.’, meaning that the hustle is so stubborn sometimes that men see the little window of opportunity closing before them.
It does not matter what your mental resolution is; it really doesn’t. This is because life will throw challenges that severely stretch the confines of your humanness. And that you must understand.
And you do understand that, right?
Because otherwise you wouldn’t be here, walking with all the men reading this, with hopes of finding a solution.
It is about the solution!
Let us talk about the solution, which I will admit is not obvious. But, we can study patterns in ourselves, which may help alleviate the pain, even slightly.
Men, accepting challenges goes far. But what am I saying?
Heavy emotions are painful but also extremely transient. It is literally a game of ‘gone in sixty seconds.’. After which, a profound moment of reflection presents itself to us.
Hard times will not kill us; they really won’t[on average].
And if we stand the test, then life can throw very little at us else.
And we gain a larger negotiation window, either with the immediate situation or ourselves.
Our ancestors were hunters who did strenuous activities and offered themselves fully to this end. Thina(Us), on the other hand, have been trapped in a disillusion of ease[which is not found in nature].
Now, happiness can be derived from any situation, even uncomfortable ones. Actually, it is when we are uncomfortable that we can search deeper.
Listen, it sucks, I know. It really does!
But it will not go away because that is who you are, hence why you feel it. The moment itself(as mentioned) is short-lived.
I know it is easy to write about these things as a profession that we shouldn’t react to terrible emotions!
However, I am not saying be unreactive; I would never say that. In any case, that is all up to you!
I am saying that whether you decide to react or not, the situation will remain a reflection of you. Now, what remains is up to you. It would help if you dealt with the problem to the degree to which you can accept the consequences.
If we can live with hardships, then there is nothing else that life can throw at us, and we become better suited to the challenges as they come.
One way to deal with this is to walk in the rain or naked at night. This is to fight the issue: your inability to see you for you.
I was thinking about a derivative earlier, which is to say that if we can lean into the pain, however hard that may be, we will come out stronger on the other side. Guaranteed!
Now I would like to tell you a little lie!
They say that the strongest of us will face the most adversity. Well, that’s a lie. But believe it anyway.
A guy I once attended gym with once asked if it weren’t him going through the hardships he was facing at the time, then who would it have been?
In as much as we’d never wish harm to people, we must understand that the harm that we take is testimony to a willpower that solely belongs to us.
In other words, if you are strong, then challenges like these will be your test.
However, that is only half of the challenge—the other lies in our preparedness for such challenges or their random occurrence.
The randomness of life is our biggest challenge. If we had known or been warned beforehand, then we would not have reacted the same.
To all men, we have to feel and reflect!
These times are challenging in that gender roles have shifted quite significantly, and with that, the liberation of women.
And women’s dynamics affect men directly.
Men must understand that and stop complaining about it because that is the worst strategy in the world!
But acknowledgment will take us far! And it is okay to tell the women in our lives the truth.
But the truth must be devoid of finger-pointing! Women are going through so much in of themselves.
Sorry to use this analogy, but I will anyway.
Women have monthly cycles which are clearly uncomfortable and sometimes painful for them, yet they keep coming. The same can be said about life’s challenges; they come in cycles too! And they are uncomfortable.
Men must understand point-blank that cycles come and go; they come, and they go. And for us to be strong, then we must understand this and work with it.
And sometimes our hardships are our own making. Think about it. Who said that you suffered no ignorance of your own?
Do you see what I mean? Simply look at your life and where you failed. It was you who failed, and that will not change, nor will it be the last of its kind.
Let us reflect, but more importantly, let us stop wishing problems away; not only is it unnatural, but it also weakens us.